Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Well, Im dizzy. I have been for months now, only for the past week and a half its been worse. Ive had every test done under the sun and still no sign of why Im dizzy. Jeez louise! Im thinking of opening a clinic with a few die hard docs that dont mind long, long, no I mean really long hours and focusing on one patient at a time until diagnoses is done and the patient is treated for whatever they came in for in the first place. Im sounding a little like Sid the Science Kid now but I reallly think if someone with deep enough pockets thought of this, well, their pockets would be even deeper! I would pay extra to cut the nonsense of multiple visits throughout the course of two years to get it all done and over with! Right?! Yeah, I thought so. Anyways....onto the good stuff.

Ive been neglecting my blog because Ive been wrapped up in my own garbage spinning! haha! well, heres what you missed: A GREAT STORY!

I was at home chillin with my mom and the kiddos when we decided to go outside in our finished grassland and let the critters play. Chatting with the Gram I was so excited to let my kids roam without worrying about where they were going in the weeds or to what side of our gateless yard they were wandering. I forgot that just because there is new yard to be appreciated, not everyone appreciates it. Especially not dogs! So all this time Ive been so excited to get outside and put my toes in the plush fescue and Grunt was crapping mountains in it. Needless to say, my daughter discovered one of these "mountains" and brought it over to me on the patio. I quickly got her to drop the enormous turd and rushed her inside to wash her hands a million billion times. But the story doesnt end there....
I then made the call to pick up the poo in the yard. since its new grass, my husband said not to use our poop rake as it would pull up precious young grasslings so I put on a glove, wrapped my hand in a plastic bag and would grab the poo with said hand and deposit the waste into another plastic bag awaiting the feces. Now, picking up poo has never been my thing but if I can scoop it and see how far I can fling it into the field behind our house, it can be a little less horrifying. This day.....oh this day.....I was gagging and gagging. With each pile of mess I picked up I could feel myself getting closer to hurling. I began to heave so badly I had to stop three turds short and just leave them where they were at. I picked up the poo filled bag and went to the door to have my mom open it to let me through the house and to the front where our dumpster sits. I couldnt even lift the bag without heaving. I got to the edge of the yard and vomited. My mother watched in horror as my dog returned to my vomit. Oh yes, he did. She ran from the door not able to handle the disgusting sight of me puking and my dog enjoying it. The poo bag did make it to the trash and I did eat that evening, but, ladies and gentlemen, I will NEVER pick up dog poo EVER again.

you like that? yeah, I knew you would...